Friday, May 21, 2021

Thursday, April 23, 2009

I Love You, Man!

I Love You, Man is easily the bromantic comedy of the year today. Much like last year’s bromantic (ok little bromantic) comedy, Role Models, this movie is packed with laughs. I Love You, Man showcases the genius of Paul Rudd and Jason Segel. According to my sources these two actors were really funny. Also, it says here that I enjoyed the movie and laughed out loud on many occasions. I won’t bore you with too much of the plot, but it’s your typical guy-gets-engaged-doesn’t-have-any-guy-friends-so-he-tries-to-make-one-in-time-to-have-a-best-man-for-his-wedding-and-hilarity-ensues movie. We’ve seen it all before. I Love You, Man has the usual crude, immature humor one might expect from this type of movie. If you like that sort of thing, you’ll laugh like I did. If you don’t, you may want to see a doctor and find out where the hell your funny went. Poopie head.

On a scale from The Brothers Solomon to a Dumb and Dumber I’d put this one at about a Blades of Glory.
Take what you will from that, Broseph!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


I went to see Watchmen with low expectations. I know nothing about the comic book. According to people in the know, it is the quintessential graphic novel. I have no idea who those "in the know" people are, but I'm sure they know what they're talking about. You know?
Anywho...I kind of thought the costumes looked cheesy, so I assumed the movie would be too. After seeing the movie I still thought the costumes were a bit second rate. However, the movie as a whole was not some much with the cheddar. It did have some moments of nacho-inspiring goofiness, but it's a comic book movie for the love of Pete. By the way, who is this Pete and why do we love him so? Just curious.
The setting is an alternative universe 1985 where Dick Nixon has been elected a 3rd term as President and the Vietnam War had a different outcome. The Soviet Union is still very Soviet and Uniony and our country is dangerously close to a nuclear war with said Russians. At least we have superheroes, right? Nope. Our flawed heroes were outlawed so they are all either retired or working for the government. The movie opens with the murder of one of these not-so-super heroes. In comes Rorschach (or as I like to call him good old inkblot face man) to investigate his fellow hero’s death. From here we get a good guys save the world / murder mystery.

Now the important part: my thoughts.

This movie did not in any way suck. I liked that the superheroes are real people with real problems and no superhuman powers. The only exception being Dr. Manhattan with his God complex and big blue dingy. While Watchmen was not the best movie I’ve seen of this genre, it was entertaining and thoughtful. I won’t go out and buy the DVD, but I would go see the sequel if there ever is one. My only real complaint was the 163 minute runtime (that’s 2 hours and 43 minutes to me and you). I was sucked in, but I noticed the movie was long. For me that either means the movie is losing my attention or that I have to pee. Speaking of that…

Friday, March 20, 2009


Wow. It's been 2 years since my last post. So much has happened since then.
Not really.
Anywho...I think I'm going to reboot this whole thing and start with a clean slate. Does anyone have a clean slate I can borrow? Hello? This thing on?

First, let's us me introduce myself shall I? Hi. Ok now that we've gotten that out of the way. Let's talk movies and why Jay likes them.

There are no bad movies. No wait...yes there are. Let me start over. There are no bad movies. Dammit! Did it again. Writing is hard. Ok here we go. It was the best of times, it was the wors...shit. I'm just not very good at this.

Perhaps I should take a different approach. Movies can be good. Movies can be bad. Movies can be forgettable. However, they are all entertaining in there own way. That is unless they are not. Huh? Eventually I'm going to stumble on something profound so just bare with me. In the meantime, picture a monkey riding a tricycle while smoking a cigar. Now THAT'S entertaining. Silly monkey. I guess my point is you either enjoy movies or you don't. For me it's about the entire experience. Popcorn or Raisinets and a large Diet Coke (with extra ice), the previews, and that teenager sitting two rows in front of you who is so dedicated to their friend that they must text them throughout the entire movie. Then the movie starts and you are sucked into a world of mystery, comedy, and/or adventure. Or you are just sucked into a world that sucks. No matter how good, bad, or indifferent you feel about the movie you are watching, you'll have something to talk about. "Man that was the best Elvis vs. Mummy movie I’ve ever seen “or” That movie was so bad that I died a little inside".

A very good friend once accused me of liking every movie. I won't mention any names, but you know who you are Darren. I guess in a way he was right. For me it's a great escape from reality. It could be a reality you wish was your own or a reality that makes you wish you would have spent your valuable time doing something else like watching a monkey riding a tricycle while smoking a cigar. [giggle]

Whatever the case, movies make me happy. Even the bad ones.

Friday, October 19, 2007


This was so far my favorite movie of the year. There were so many things about it that did not suck. Although it was a musical, the characters did not break into song just for the hell of it. The songs were meaningful, emotional, and fit a purpose for the scene. Glen Hansard played “the guy”, a vacuum salesmen, and Marketa Irglova played “the girl”, a…well…girl. No I didn’t forget their names. They didn’t have names. Actually, the fact that the two main characters were not given names is kind of cool because it really doesn’t matter. Who remembers names? Not me. However, I remember stories (when I’m sober) and everyone has a story. The story of “the guy” and “girl” occurs over the course of a week as they meet and bond through the music they write, perform, and record. At times I forgot I was watching a movie. It felt more like I was eavesdropping on someone’s life. After seeing the movie I immediately went home and downloaded the soundtrack. Watching the movie made me feel like I was a witness to the character’s creative process and listening to the soundtrack made me feel like I was hearing the finished product. Did I mention how much I liked this movie?

I'd definitely see this movie more the Once. Rock me!

Friday, July 27, 2007

"The Simpsons Movie"

I heard that most of the writers over the last 18 seasons of The Simpsons were brought back for the movie. They should pay them to stick around for season 19. Unlike the last several years of the show about America's favorite yellow people (they're drawn that way you racist!) this movie was funny. It has the funniest nude gag I've seen since Borat and enough great lines to make me want to go back and see it again. Plus, the Spiderpig song got stuck in my head and is slowly making me go insane. That actually might not be a good point. Forget you read that last part. Look...a clown!

Bottom line: Homer make Jay laugh.
Limerick: There once was a swine named Spiderpig
He belonged to a Simpson whose brain was not big
He pooped in a can
Homer went on the lam
Then I laughed till I choked on the coke I swigged
Overall Rating: Rockin' good flick!